There are two things in this world that I reeeeally love. I’m talking kid-at-Christmas kind of love: birthdays and lists.
I am a big fan of birthdays. My birthday, your birthday, all birthdays. Which is great because today I turn 26. However, I’ve been a little apprehensive about this one. After the blowout that was reaching a quarter of a century, 26 feels woefully insignificant. I almost want to brush past 26 without making a big deal of it, which is VERY out of character.
So I decided to make a list to cheer
myself up, and to really treat myself, I’ve put it in alphabetical order.
I’ve been more self-reflective in the months leading up to my birthday than I have in my whole life, which is why I feel like this list is especially warranted. In general, I struggle with self-reflection, as I prefer to constantly be moving on to the next all-consuming project. As I add another year to the docket, I find myself finally mature (tired) enough to slow down and really take stock.
So here it is:
26 Things I’d Like to Learn (now that I’m 26)
1. AMERICA. Isabelle, be proud of your accent. You’ve let it slip. A lot. And while part of it is natural, part of it comes from a fear of standing out. Do not be afraid to stand out. Being American is part of who you are so embrace it.
2. Be shit. When Alice Finch Lee was asked why her sister, Harper Lee, had only written two novels she said, “When you hit the pinnacle, how would you feel about writing more? Would you feel like competing with yourself?” How sad! Imagine if Harper Lee had just accepted that To Kill A Mockingbird would be her best work and to keep writing for the love of it. How many more delightful compelling novels would we have from her? Don’t ever let the fear of being shit stop you from writing it/doing it anyway.
3. Celebrities are not that interesting. So stop wasting valuable creative time watching the lives or other actors and writers (mostly on social media) and how well they’re doing and how happy and perfect and successful they are. Who knows how they’re actually doing, it’s social media, and even if they are as happy as they seem, good for them! Be happy for them and move on with your life.
4. Don’t get caught up with all the don’ts. Was tempted to say “Don’t compare yourself to other people” and “Don’t be afraid to speak out” or “Don’t take yourself so seriously” but actually, don’t focus on all the things you don’t want to do. Focus on the positive. What you do want to do.
5. Embrace your inherent distrust of advertising. Do not forget the goal of advertisers is to convince you that their product can fix your problems. Nine times out of ten, it won’t fix your problem. Nine times out of ten, you can fix your own problems. One time of ten, what you think is a problem, isn’t even a problem.
6. Forget about success. Seriously. Forget about it. You know who needs success? Your ego. You know who cares about creativity and curiosity and well-being? Your soul. The ego has its purpose, but I’d much rather have my soul in the driver’s seat.
7. Go for it. That idea you just had? That crazy recipe that seems way too intimidating? Reaching out to people to tell them about your projects? That dream that seems totally unrealistic? Life is too short, and you’re already 26, so I’m giving you permission to just bloody well go for it.
8. Happiness is a choice. Yes, I know you struggle with anxiety and bouts of depression. So I’m not talking about those days. I am talking about the days when it could go either way. On those days, happiness is a lot harder, but it is possible and your creativity and curiosity and your playfulness will thank you for it.
9. Idolising your drive? Stop it. Driven is a more intense word for resilient. Be resilient, absolutely, but you worry that your productivity and your creativity are entirely reliant on your drive. But there’s nothing creative or productive about being at your computer 12 hours a day trying to push open doors and write all the things. So depend on curiosity to push you forward and you might enjoy the process a little more.
10. Joking is ok. Sarcasm is not. It may make you feel incredibly clever in the moment but it’s hurtful and you’ll regret it like you always do.
11. Kill the rules. Not necessarily the rules that society has put in place to function properly, but all the ones you put on yourself. If you set rules for yourself and decide they’re not working, don’t waste precious time. Just kill them and move on.
12. Look outside yourself. Things can get really lonely as a Creative (especially as a writer), but don’t allow that loneliness to make you more insular. Use it to drive you out of yourself and towards other people. Wake up every day with the intention to help someone today whether that’s with a smile, a conversation, a helping hand, whatever it takes to make a positive difference today.
13. More money is not the answer. Despite what LITERALLY EVERY POP SONG is saying, more money will NOT solve your problems. Unless you’re applying to a film fund or arts grant, more money is not the answer. It will never be the answer. Any problems you think money will solve.
14. Nature is not nearly as gross and smelly as you thought it was when you were a kid. Mountains are beautiful, lakes and rivers are transporting, and living in the country might not be such a bad idea. Don’t fear this change in perspective, embrace it.
15. Oregon is the best place in the world. Maybe you don’t want to live there, and that’s ok. But don’t be afraid that the little town you were so desperate to get away from nearly all your life has suddenly revealed it’s beauty and wonder to you.
16. Playful. You’ll have the most fun if you look at everything playfully.
17. Quiet people learn more. I’m not telling you to crush that vivacious spirit of yours, but just think about how much you’ve learned from just listening to other people talk. Ever stuck for inspiration? Just stop talking for a hot second.
18. RELAX!!!!! Seriously, you’re treating life like a sprint. It’s ok if you don’t finish that novel in two weeks or don’t get that TV show produced in 6 months. Take more weekends. Take more nights off. Sleep in more. The ideas are there. They will come. More often than not you will finish them, so chill.
19. Social Media: Know Who’s in Charge. As an actor/writer/creative person in general, there’s a pressure to have an active social media account with a substantial audience. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve noticed in the past few months that social media has had way more of a grip on your life. I’m wasting valuable time scrolling when I could be writing, singing, creating, doing literally anything else more life giving. So, social media is off your phone and just on the computer. Hopefully it will stay that way.
20. Throw out the scale. This one comes from your favourite poem of all time, “Embrace the Squish”, by the incredibly talented Olivia Warren. She defies the way society allows numbers on a scale to define us (mostly women, let’s be honest). Choose to measure us by our kindness, weigh us by our intelligence. So I’m getting rid of the scale once and for all.
21. Understand that nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they’re thinking about you. Use this knowledge as a source of freedom.
22. Vegetables are a life-giving source of energy. Eat more of them.
23. Wear whatever the hell you want. Seriously, you spend so much time agonizing over what to wear each morning, and on the mornings when you don’t, you worry people will notice your COMPLETE lack of style. But the truth is nobody cares, and the people who do have waaaaay too much time on their hands so wear whatever you want and move on with your day.
24. X Nothing fits with X, but what a great time to practice your “killing the rules” lesson (see 11)
25. You’re terrible at painting your nails and you hate going to nail salons. Ipso facto Columbo. You are not a painted-nail kind of person. Accept it and move on.
26. Zip Zap Zop is still the best game of all time.
Awesome blog post! Very sincere and honest. I feel I can relate, learn and think deeper about my life also, through your POV.